freebird_97

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This is a protected post.

Listening to Kyle Landry’s cover of “Inochi no Namae” somehow uplifts my spirit, despite any mood I may be in.
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I just glanced at the clock. It’s ten twenty-seven p.m. How amazing am I at procrastinating.
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“I think we tell ourselves we don’t want what we think we can’t have just to make it bearable.”

It’s a quote from the book “Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes” by Chris Crutcher.

The book’s about two outcasts – a fat, wimpy boy and a strong-minded girl with scars all over her face and hands – and how they struggle through hardships and come face-to-face with the truth.

I liked it a lot.

I envy Sarah so much sometimes. To have a friend to accept her as he does is something I long for.

Just moments before this, I was working on a new post. I was writing about my past, but now I realize that is all it will be. I need to look forward now. That is what you taught me.

Here we go.

A silenced man with no past.
A hidden blade of sorrow.
Mists of gray.
Death of light.
Suppressed emotion without hope.
Why won’t you yield?
Eyes without feeling, without life.
Why do you lie?
A broken smile.
The truth is concealed inside.
Why won’t you yield?
Whisper.
Speak.
Scream.
I won’t judge you.
Just say it.
Tell me the truth.

I just now wrote this for a friend of mine, whom I care deeply for. I know how he feels. That emptiness he once told me of. That same emptiness visits me often when the room shakes with insanity. He won’t talk about it anymore, but I know that he still feels that way. Because I do. This indescribable emotion… needs something more than time to go away.